The Beauty in Our Blistering Skies

Every day in Thailand, farang (foreigner) whines about the heat. That's because we live inside an oven. From the moment we step outside, we start baking. If we arrive quickly at our destination, we arrive medium-rare. If we take our time, we arrive well-done. If we get lost along the way, well, it's all over for us. We are the literal melting pot of Asia.

For some reason today, I'm inspired to look up at the sun, which is just a few feet above my head, wave my charbroiled fist in its face, and demand, "Is that all you got??? Bring it on!!!" Today I celebrate the heat. Maybe I have heat stroke.  Maybe the sun has fried my brain. But I'd rather be joyful in my own optimistic delusion than a sweaty sourpuss on the scorching pavement of reality.

 Yes, it is hot. But like Jamie Cullem asked about dreary London, I will ask you: "Will you let me romanticize, the beauty in our blistering skies?"

Here are some things I LOVE about living in a hot city.

1. We never ever ever need a jacket. 

2. We can swim 24-hours a day, 12 months a year

3. We don't need a humidifier and the air is never dry

4. An egg will easily scramble itself on the sidewalk right in front of you

5. Our children don't have to bother with coats, boots, etc. 

7. Crime is very low here. It's too hot to be outside mugging people or stealing things. 

8. We will be the first to know if the sun erupts a solar flare. 

9. We don't need to boil our water, we just set it on our patio and watch it bubble. 

10. We never shiver. We never get chill bumps. 

11. We never get hit with snowballs.

12. We always have a tan.
13. It's never too cold to eat ice cream.
14. If we get reeeeeally hot -- like delusional -- we get to see fun mirages like a giant Chick-fil-a sandwich with sweet tea, or a big Target sign, or a loved one from home.
15. Just standing outside doing nothing is equal to running 5 miles in the US.
and lastly,

16. We always get PLENTY of VITAMIN D!!! That's why Thailand is the LAND OF SMILES!!!

High Schoolers in BKK

Our student team headed back to America around 3am this morning. This has been an incredible experience for them and for us. As the wife of a former student pastor, I’ve been on countless student camps, mission trips, and retreats. The team this week so impressed me with their hard work and willingness to do whatever was asked of them… with a great attitude. They didn’t complain about the miserable heat, walking everywhere, or the city in general. They loved building relationships with Thais, Iranians, Japanese, and anyone God brought across their path.

For me, this trip was special because for years David and I would visit our missionary friends in Brazil, work with them and encourage them for a week. This time it was our turn to be encouraged by a team from the US. And let me say, we were so encouraged! It’s also great to see the light come on for students like, “Oh this is what a missionary lifestyle looks like overseas.” 

My heart is also full because two of the students who came this week were in my high school small group for years. I am just so proud of them I can’t stand it. They are young women running after God, turning their backs on the world’s definition of “success.” They’re maturing and they will do mighty things for the Lord.

And I’m so proud because another student this week was my cousin, Nathan – more like a brother than a cousin. Nathan comes from a strong heritage of faith but has also endured some great pain in his life. He came to Christ two years ago and hasn’t looked back. This is a guy I grew up going to Chuck E Cheese with and having camp outs and puppet shows in the living room. Now I see the fire in his eyes for the Lord. He is zealous, but willing to grow in wisdom to match that zeal. He is eager to abandon his safety and his comfort for the sake of the gospel. But he also submits to authority and accepts Godly counsel. I have no idea how God will use this young man to advance this kingdom but it will be huge.

Mostly I am thankful for a church that sends. We stand on the tip of a great iceberg of support back home. Each one of us living overseas represents a family of supporters and an entire sending church. Thank you, church for investing in students. Thank you parents for overcoming your fear of letting your teenagers travel overseas (I know the day will come when Josiah asks this of me). Thank you Dustin, for spending another ten days away from your sweet family to pour into students -- You are an incredible leader, and our student ministry is so blessed to have you. Thank you, support family for sacrificing and honoring God with your money. Thank you to those who really pray for us. As you serve the church, so you serve all the nations. Student team, thank you for ministering to our BKK family and the people of Thailand this week. You're influence will continue long after you've gone. We will miss you!

View of BKK

A sweet baby boy I got to hold for two hours at the orphanage

River Boat taxi -- Yes, Adrianna is covering her mouth because
nobody wants to accidentally taste this water. 

Too much coolness for one picture.

Our team outside the Friends for all Children orphanage. 

Dear Nursery Worker...

Here in Bangkok, our team has humbly and with a beautiful servant’s heart constructed a little nursery out of our church office. Then, several of us rotate each week to take care of Josiah. This week, one of our team has volunteered to watch Josiah for Easter, giving up her only opportunity to attend an Easter service. I am so thankful for their commitment to allow me to attend service and their sacrifice to love on my boy.

Having a nursery doesn't come easy here or at any church. It takes work, planning, and most of all amazing volunteers!

This Easter, congregations will gather to worship the risen savior. And as we worship, others -- off stage and out of the spotlight -- will love on our kids. I just wanted to say a brief thank-you.

Nursery worker, you are the backbone of the church. You allow parents a safe and loving place for their children so they can find community, worship, and the gospel every week. You volunteer to sit in the floor, change diapers, avoid food allergies, make messy crafts, and hold whinny kids week in and week out. You’re patient when parents are late after the service has long ended. You organize diaper bags, food schedules, snacks, and check-in/pick-up.

And sometimes – God forbid – you encounter that parent – the one you see walking down the hall with their kid and you just want to shut the door. The parent who criticizes you, whines about everything, sends angry emails, and wonders what you did wrong to make their kid punch someone else. And you endure it with grace and a smile and you still show up the next week.

I just want to tell you that you are part of something big and you will never see the full fruit of your ministry with earthly eyes.

So this Easter, while others raise their hands to God in worship, you’ll be raising your hands (probably covered with cookie crumbs and finger paint) to lift a child, change a diaper, give a hug, feed a snack. – I’m not sure which act of “hand-raising” glorifies God more. 

Your commitment and your servant’s heart are so appreciated. I pray that every little face you see this Sunday would be the face of Christ to you. From the bottom of this thankful mama's heart, Happy Easter!

Vacation in Paradise

We are so thankful we got to spend a week with Grammy and Papaw! It flew by, but we were thankful for every minute together. This visit, we got to go to Phuket in South Thailand for the first time, and it was breathtaking! The resort was amazing, and just getting out of the city let us all breathe some fresh (sweet-smelling) air. The place where we stayed was super family-friendly, which is always good when you have a toddler. Here are a few of my favorite moments.

My parents arrive in BKK at about 11pm and the first thing my dad wants to do is order McDonald's delivered to our house. Love it. 

Josiah was a little tired after the flight, but that was okay with Grammy.

Beautiful Angsana

Outdoor playground

Indoor playground (this place was awesome!)

Feeding our friend Lucky -- the baby elephant-- who ate breakfast with us every morning

Lucky reeeeally liked David

Josiah LOVES his Papaw

One of the coolest experiences of my life riding on the head of this elephant. David and I took a 2-hour motorbike ride to find this place. Well worth it. I am now the elephant whisperer. 

I use to hate this as a girl, and now I beg her to roll my hair!

Time with Daddy

I swear this is lemonade.

Kisses for Grammy

On a sad note, when we got back to BKK, mom and I went to grab some milk and eggs from our grocery store. Like all daughters, I asked my mom to take a quick stroll through the clothes section with me. As we were looking, a group of people swarmed us and stole my mom's phone. We were a little shaken up. We traced the phone and had to hold my dad and David back from going after it themselves. Anyway, everything in perpective -- it was a small loss compared to being together all week. Thankfully mom had a great attitude. So thankful for the blessing of family and a perfect week together.

Thankful Heart

No Stinky House today, Praise the Lord! Just wanted to give a quick update of our week. I feel like this week has been a week of extreme emotions. First, we are super happy and excited about Grammy and Papaw coming to visit. We are so blessed to see them after just seeing them in December. Thank you everyone for praying for my dad's back. I keep hearing great reports from him. There's just nothing in the world like being with your family and I know we will cherish every minute.

On the other hand, I have been gloomy this week because in a couple days, we will say goodbye to part of our BKK family, the Hathcocks. Moving my baby boy to the other side of the world was the scariest thing I have ever done, but God was so good to provide a friend for me and especially another mom. I never imagined how fast you could bond with another mom, also lugging her baby around like a kangaroo. Crystal let me see that yes, you can in fact make it in a huge city with an infant. She taught me which diapers to buy, how to shop for food, how to take the bus, and how to have a good attitude through it all. We carry a lot of weight on our shoulders here as moms -- physically spiritually, and emotionally, but with a close friend, that weight is cut in half.

 I'm so much stronger now and ready to pass on all of the BKK mom wisdom to other moms and soon-to-be moms who move here. But Crystal will be missed more than she knows. 

After 3 days of planning, shopping, and cooking for a Mickey party

First sleepover! Best buds!

In other news, Josiah has had a runny nose for about 3 weeks. We took him in for a "well visit" and it turned out he had bronchitis. So we did a breathing treatment (worse than a shot), antibiotics and steroids. He's doing so much better after only 2 days of medicine. So thankful for the ability to get good medical care.

Also heavy on my heart this week has been our supporters. I've found myself praying for you and just thinking about the sacrifice you make every month to stay faithful to the Lord, in your commitment to us. The work we do rests on your giving. Every spiritual act we do here is a result of your giving. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I pray you feel the joy of giving and sacrifice. Thank you!

Here are a few pictures from the week, pretty sure they're mostly of J. :)

The waiting room at the doctor's office....Seriously!

Of course you can take your bathtub into the living room. #yeshome

"I love myself."

Before the haircut (looks like "deck poo-ying"/ little girl)

After J's haircut. The sucker is covered with hair. 

Stinky House Prayer

I don’t know what it is about Wednesday Bible studies that always prompt a blog post. I have just come off a retreat with a group of women here in Bangkok and it was absolutely amazing. The pool and ocean were relaxing, and the time meeting other ladies was so much fun, but honestly, it was the alone time with God that most refreshed me. After each session, we were given 1 hour alone with God to process and pray. I was able to sit before the Lord and ask him to examine me. That time was so beautiful.

Today’s James study was powerful as well, and the time with Crystal, Tobin, and Brittany was so encouraging as always. But as usual, the enemy has plans to destroy whatever joy I find in the Lord. I walked into my apartment and something happened that caused me to unstrap Josiah from my back and sit in the floor and bawl.

So, they say that smell is the most powerful of the senses. A smell can take you back to a time and place that happened decades ago, or bring up joyful or painful memories you thought you’d long forgotten. Today, smell had a different effect on me.

First, let me say that I do not pretend to sacrifice many creaturely comforts here in BKK. David and I live in a very nice apartment, (though small), it meets all our needs. We have TV, internet, air conditioning, a washer, etc. But we also happen to live on the 4^th floor, which is not very high up and directly above a sewage drain. That means that several times a week (not every day), our apartment REEKS of stank. There’s no where to hide from it and no amount of airfreshner or candles or my whining covers it up. It usually lasts until the evening, goes way, and comes back about 11pm. Well today happy Jen was skipping home from Bible study (not really because there’s a 30lb kid on my back, but in my heart I was skipping). I opened the door and the smell of sewage just knocked me over. I mean it was disgusting and made me want to gag. If I was pregnant, I would have vomited. I just sat in the floor and cried. Poor Josiah looked at me the same way David looks at me when I cry, like “Ahh I am so uncomfortable right now, please stop!” Josiah hugged me and said, “love you.” Welcome to the world of women crying, son.

I just prayed to God, “Lord, I know I have so many blessings, but why does my apartment have to stink???” Our home is supposed to become our refuge from the world, not the refuse of the world!!! I know he cares about me and my stinky apartment. I know even that small of a thing matters to him because he’s our father.

Then I felt like there was actually a purpose in the stank. I felt the Lord giving me a powerful and disgusting olfactory image of what my sin must look like before him. Now it’s one thing to read, “Our sin makes us stink before God” and try to process that intellectually. It’s another to process that concept as you’re covered in the nastiest smelling, gag-inducing stench you can imagine. How does God not vomit over me when I come to him with my pride, my selfish ambition, my critical tongue? Layers of Bible study and Godly “words” cannot mask the stink of sin.

I also live in a country where everyone is trying all day long not to stink. In a country where “winter” means temperatures in the mid 80s, and hot season means temps well into the 100s, we all walk everywhere and we all sweat all the time (at least the foreigners). Deodorant, multiple showers, lotions, etc, are our best friends. 

How is it that I can be so unaware of my spiritual aroma before God and to other believers? Once again, I left Bible study with my head in the spiritual clouds, only to be brought back to the real world where the world stinks and is desperate for Christians to be different.

My Stinky House Prayer

Lord, I never want to smell the way my house smells right now before you. J I know that when I harbor sin, it is disgusting before you. Please give me a nose to smell it on myself. If I get too caught up in the world – in self-promotion, spiritual-arrogance, materialism, cynicism, jealousy, let my sin nauseate me! Let me go to the cross, the only place where I am scrubbed clean. I don’t just want to be a hearer of your word. I don’t just want to “enjoy” spiritual discussion. I want it to change me! I want the world to see, hear, and “smell” the sweet aroma of Christ in me that they are suddenly aware of their own sin – that they may run to you, Lord. Let sin absolutely disgust me, Lord and bring me to a higher standard of holiness – not so I can look down on other people or feel superior, but so I can actually love people more and give you more glory. And please let the smell in my house go away! I got the message! J

Strength Will Rise

This morning our usual James study was put on hold so we could hear the powerful story of a missionary husband and wife. This Swedish couple served as missionaries in southern Russia. One night, on their way home from a church gathering, they were kidnapped at gunpoint – thrown in the trunk of a car, and eventually forced into a tiny jail cell with a mud floor, a bucket for their toilet, no window – their new home for the next 165 days. They were allowed to keep their Bible, which became their ultimate source of sanity and hope when they were beaten, mocked, and treated like animals.

I won’t retell their whole story (although I really want to). What struck me most about this couple was their absolute joy as they spoke. I’m not sure I’ve really seen anything like it. I mean, this couple was glowing with joy as they spoke about the most deplorable conditions I can even comprehend.

Another beautiful thing about their story was that they were allowed to stay together in their prison cell. They created a “home” in the mud. They memorized scripture, they prayed all day. They even “fasted” from their meager prison rations every few days. They huddled together in the winter. They invented games to pass time. They cried together. They sang worship songs together. They etched off the passing days on the wall with chalk. Could you even imagine going through this with your spouse? Could you imagine being thrown in a prison cell with your husband, sleeping the mud, sweeping out the rats? Talk about a marriage retreat.

Their love for each other was so evident – even as they spoke this morning. During the entire hour, there were maybe one or two minutes they were not touching in some way. I thought to myself, "Do you think an affair is going to end this marriage? Do you think they're going to fall out of love with each other? Do you think they’re going to let little annoyances drive them apart?" I’m guessing no. I’m not saying this couple doesn't have to still work on their marriage, but I just think there’s something about being tortured beside your spouse that tends to cement a relationship. They didn’t even really talk about their marriage, but it didn’t need to be spoken. It was just who they were.

Christian couples, what are we enduring together for the cause of Christ? This couple reminded me that my marriage isn’t something I have to huddle around and just defend from the world all the time, it’s a weapon – a powerful weapon against the enemy. With my husband, I can endure anything. With me, my husband can conquer anything. Christ designed marriages to be strong, to be a force for his glory, even strong enough to endure cancer (one amazing couple comes to mind), job loss, and the unthinkable – torture and imprisonment. We can face anything together and fight every battle together. Why do we let the enemy steal power from our marriages? Maybe the biggest poison to our marriages is just an easy life that never requires us to endure anything together?

This story was so encouraging to me. Even though David and I are far away from prison (although sometimes I think Thai food….nevermind), I can still quote scripture to him. I can still pray over Him. I can still make myself into his strongest fellow warrior in battle – his most trusted confident. He can do the same for me. 

Sometimes I feel like I have the spiritual muscle tone of spaghetti. I’m no health expert (says the bowl of nutella in my lap), but somewhere I heard that you build a muscle by tearing it down. You overload the muscle so it gets stronger. Sometimes God gives me the smallest challenge and I look at him like he just asked me to do 100 pull-ups: It ain’t gonna happen. I think we build spiritual muscle by going through the hard times with God, with our spouses, with our families. We can beg God to take it away (Paul sure did and so did this couple), but when he doesn’t, we just keep going. We keep fighting. We keep enduring. When we feel the weakest, when we just can’t lift anymore, I think that’s when that muscle is formed in us. That’s how we get strong in Christ. That’s how our marriages get strong – not just by existing in every day life, but by doing something for Christ together, by enduring it together—even in the middle of every day life. Oh how he loves us in spite of our weakness. He is for us and for our marriages.

Praise God that we all don’t have to be thrown in a Russian prison. But – something about seeing this radiant couple speak today – it just makes me think maybe they understand something about joy that I don’t get to understand yet– something about the depths of marriage and intimacy only found on the other side of suffering side by side--Something about experiencing the Light of God that you can only truly absorb when you’ve been in the darkest pit.

May I not shrink back the next time I have an opportunity to build a little spiritual muscle in myself and in my marriage.

Praise God for the strength he is building in us.